Mallrats (1995)

• Rated R: strong language, sexual dialogue, and drug content
• 95 mins
• Full screen, but not sure if it's HD
• I rated 3 stars (Liked It)

Initial Thoughts:
What's not to love about a cult classic? If you listen to all the hype, this is one of those movies that define a generation. A generation scarred by terrible music, an insipid sense of worthlessness, and a general lack of hygiene. I am excited to finally see Kevin Smith's work before he ate himself to obscurity.
   
Movie:
Jason Lee and his buddy are a bunch of Gen-X losers in a forgettable town with a mall. I smell a post-ironic 90's movie!

Lee's girlfriend, Shannon Doherty of all people, dumps him after the 900th night spent playing SEGA and not having sex. Both Lee and his friend T.S. (as in a reference to T.S. Lawrence -- the sheer gall these idiots have is remarkable) are both on the rebound, though T.S. is having a tougher time; his love was true! Lee suggests going to that consumerist paradise, the mall.

I know the 90's were all about dialogue; directors like Tarantino made their names on thoughtful and robust scripts, but Kevin Smith beats a decomposed horse into dust here. Lee delivers a rapid fire attack filled with more SAT prep vocab words than the average idiot watching can comprehend. A lot can be said for using big words, but more can be said for Hemingway writing at a 4th grade level. It's about comprehension, not making an impression.

The best gag by far, is a fat nerd standing next to a Magic Eye, that everyone can see but him. I vividly remember friends in school who could never see those things. Almost pissed myself laughing.

Our two anti-heroes get to the mall and find out that the father of TS' ex-girlfriend is hosting some 70's dating game show rip off there. They conspire with Jay and Silent Bob to crash the show and win back their respective girlfriends.

Ben Affleck makes an appearance as a meathead with a healthy fascination with anal, no surprises there. Jason Lee meets Stan Lee and finds the inspiration to become a normal person. Jay and SB cause havoc.

The two find their way onto the dating game, and show how clever they are; Affleck gets arrested for cornholing a minor. All is right with the world.

Afterthoughts:
If you can get over how ridiculous the dialogue is, then this is a great film. If you remember the 90's, like I do, then you'll catch a few jokes that take you back, back to a more annoying and forgettable time -- but still fun.