After.Life (2009)

• Rated R
• 103 mins
• HD
• I rated 3 stars (Liked It)

Initial Thoughts:
I've been sick the last few days, and haven't wanted to concentrate for very long. I saw this in the recommendations and thought that it might be good, or would help me fall asleep; so it's a win - win. Also, you can't go wrong with Christina Ricci.

Movie:
I have to admit that I wasn't in the right mind while viewing this film. It was a bit confusing, is she dead, is she alive, why isn't she naked the whole movie?

Ricci is in a relationship with the I'm a Mac guy, but dies (maybe) suddenly in a car accident. Liam Neeson is a creepy mortician guiding her to the other side. Ricci contends that she's actually alive, but Neeson does his best to persuade her she's not.

On the table, Ricci reexamines her life and decides that what she really wants out of life is love. She continues to question Neeson, while continuing her war on clothing.

I'm a Mac guy also starts to question Ricci's death, and as you might imagine, this doesn't make his friends comfortable around him.

Neeson sorta lets slip a key piece of information at the final showdown, and both lives are never the same.

Afterthoughts:
I should probably rewatch this now that I'm not delirious with the flu. If you find yourself at home with your girlfriend/wife and she wants to watch something without explosions, suggest this and I wait for your emails thanking me.
 
 

8MM (1999)

• Rated R
• 123 mins
• HD (TV only)
• I rated 2 stars (Didn't Like It)

Initial Thoughts:
I'm usually not a fan of Nick Cage's movies, but I'm always a sucker to see them -- what if this one is actually good? Just from reading the little blurb, I figured this would be one of those scary movies that's so not scary it's funny. We'll see.

Movie:
Cage is private investigator, I think, I just saw this and I can't remember if he's a cop or not. An old rich man dies and his private safe is found to have an untitled video tape. His wife views it, and it's a snuff film -- maybe. Cage is tasked with finding out the truth in a crazy mixed-up world.

Cage leaves his ugly and overbearing wife (she's so ugly I couldn't find a picture of her) with the kid and off he goes to find out who the girl in the film is. Set in the late 90's, he has to go through stacks of filing cabinets and card boxes. He finally finds a close enough match to make the trip to see the mother. She's a lonely middle-aged women dying for attention. Cage adroitly deflects her advances.

On to LA and a very young Joaquin Phoenix. Phoenix works at a grungier than usual adult book store (for all of you young people out there, this is where your dads got porn). They strike up a working relationship and tour the decrepit underbelly of the deranged LA porn scene. While this is going on, Cage wire-taps a scumbag looking James Gandolfini. Most of what they find is fake, but they do make see a lot of stuff produced by one guy in New York.

They set up a meeting with the producer in New York under the guise of producing their own film. The meeting takes place in a dockyard, and to no one's surprise, it's a trap.

The situation goes from tense to overdrive and people lose blood. Cage escapes and begins the hunt to kill everyone associated. It seems that he's grown quite fond of the dead girl he's never met.

I can't say much about the ending, but if you watch True Blood you are in for a real treat. Oh and Cage wins, obviously.

Afterthoughts:
It's not a good movie. It's tired and cliche and far too dark. Even the scenes with Cage's wife, which I can only imagine serve to lighten the movie up, are just depressing. Maybe I have it wrong; maybe it's supposed to be like watching a snuff film. Who knows? The point is, I wish I would have watched something else. I was foiled again by Nick Cage. How on Earth does this guy keep getting work?  

Fallen (1998)

• Rated R
• 124 mins
• HD
• I rated 4 stars (Really Liked It)

Initial Thoughts:
I've always been a little curious about this film; I remember a whole lot of buzz about it when it came out, but never knew much about it. Denzel was the biggest thing since sliced bread back then, but I never got around to seeing this one. As you might remember from Red State, I'm quite partial to John Goodman, so I thought I'd give it a go.  

Movie: 
The film begins with Denzel as a tough, but inscrutable detective witnessing the execution of his biggest catch do date. From the onset we're clued into the supernatural element underpinning the movie.

The bad guy dies, but the demonic spirit residing in him is released. It seems that the freshly dead serial killer, was in fact an all-around nice guy who probably loved kittens; the heinous murders committed by him were the work of a fallen angel.

The fallen angel, named Azazel, wants to take over Denzel, but it seems Denzel is too pure to succumb easily (by touch) and must be taken when the demon is in spirit form (it sounds dumb and tedious, but is actually played out well in the film).

Murders keep happening, and  all signs point to Denzel. John Goodman, being an all-around awesome individual, remains his trusted partner and confidant. Eventually, Denzel figures out the game with the help of a severely unattractive women, and the story moves to resolution.

Denzel figures out how he could kill the fallen angel (???) and puts the plan in motion. Shockingly that plan goes to pot, and the end turns out perfectly.

It's so rare to see a standard film end so beautifully. I honestly can't remember the last time I really enjoyed a story's resolution.

Afterthoughts:

Fallen is a standard "company" film, but I cannot say enough about how they decided to end the film. Wonderful change of pace, and it re-affirms my belief that there are really good films out there. Goodman does an admirable job as the side-kick, and Donald Sutherland makes an appearance. Tony Soprano plays a dirtbag cop, making it that much better. The soundtrack isn't bad either. All-in-all, good film.

Hackers (1995)

• Rated PG-13: Some sexuality and brief strong language
• 105 mins
• SD
• I rated 3 stars (Liked It)

Initial Thoughts:
I knew a guy in high school that watched this film just about everyday for a solid year -- and when I say "knew" -- I mean I avoided the kid like the plague. He dressed like he was going to a pride march, and while that wasn't so bad, he was at least 70 pounds overweight. It's hard to find leopard print pants in husky.

Movie:
I have to say one thing about this film... it does not age well. Our protagonist is a super hacker from prepubescence, but gets caught and is forbidden to touch even a phone until he's eighteen. Flash forward to the 28 year old looking Johnny Lee Miller, and we're off. He changes schools and meets a short haired Angelina Jolie. He's smitten, she's too cool for school. Remember kids, it's the 90's and women are either cheerleader sluts or pants-suit wearing womyn with more anger than the Hulk.

Lee Miller ends up befriending a waifish Puerto Rican and gains entree to the ELITE (I'm laughing as I type that) hacker club. Jolie, sensing an attack on her manhood, challenges Miller to a hack-off. Hilarity ensues.

All the while the nerd of the group (I know) hacks blindly into the devil's den and stirs up a hornet's nest. He gets busted and the plot rolls on.

Miller and Jolie have erotic dreams about each other, but being bound by the rules of high school, continue on being love-struck idiots.  

The Black Hat begins going after our new buddies by hacking into the FBI files and changing stuff. Miller and the crew hatch a plan to take him down with the aid of a Independence Day style montage of world-wide hackers. The access point is Grand Central Station. How did they get there you ask...

rollerblading. I nearly pissed my pants I was laughing so hard.

Miller, with the help of a world-wide network of super hackers is able to make it into the Black Hat's system. A battle that rivals Iwo Jima ensues. But at the end of the day, even Penn from Penn & Teller using all his wizardry can't stop ZEROCOOL.

Jolie has to wear a dress on the victory date. Take that Feminism!

Afterthoughts: 
Painfully 90's. The costume designer was trying to make a statement; I'm just not sure if it was a joke about how ridiculously serious Gen X took themselves, or a serious foray into avant-garde high fashion. The acting left much to be desired, and the plot was absurd, but still I'm glad I saw it. It does have that crazy tall guy from SLC Punk, so there's that.

Exam (2009)

• Not rated
• 101 mins
• HD
• I rated 4 stars (Really Liked It)

Initial Thoughts:
This one came my way by Netflix's suggestions; while I'm usually dubious of their system, I thought the premise was entertaining. Again, the notion of watching an unknown quantity with unknown actors intrigued me. 

Movie:
The gist is, we know nothing of anything the whole movie, and society brakes down.

We start with eight candidates dressed in their finest clothes preparing to take an exam for a prestigious job. The proctor (called the Invigilator) gives the rules for the exam. Pay close attention to what he says. Before leaving the Invigilator asks, "Are there any questions?"

The test begins and it's only the candidates facing what has to be a two-way mirror and a lone security guard at the door. As they all look at their provided materials, it becomes apparent that this is no ordinary test. The paper is blank, so everyone is sort of looking at it and wondering what the hell to do with it. One woman picks up the provided pencil and starts writing on it, and is immediately disqualified (one of the rules is: do not spoil your paper).

Upon seeing this, the tall white guy near the back perks up and figures out that there's no rule against talking amongst themselves. This is where everything goes to pot.

Tall white guy leads them on a destruction spree in order to "solve" the exam, breaking lights, holding people hostage, and other general mayhem. By the end, there are only a few candidates left. The Invigilator comes back and in a destroyed room, with a few candidates injured, announces that one is the winner -- and says almost nothing of the carnage.

Afterthoughts:
It's a great film; it kept me guessing the whole time. At the same time,  it's shocking to see what how the different candidates handled the stress. If the sentiment holds true to real-life, it doesn't bode well for us. Also, there's a nice little twist that you might not guess. The shocking story lines do well to cover it up.

Buried (2010)

• Rated R for language and some violent content
• 95 mins
• HD
• I rated it 1 star (Hated It)*

Initial Thoughts: 

Ryan Reynolds trapped in a box for an entire movie? I'm sold. Ever since Van Wilder I thought, "Oh, how wonderful it would be to bury this idiot in a coffin and forget about him. Also, you can generally tell how insipid this thing is gonna be by the "critic" blurbs -- Intense, Suspenseful, Thriller = plot sucks.

Movie:

It's 95 minutes of Ryan Reynolds in a box making mistake after mistake after mistake, to the point where I got to find the controller to turn it off. As I was about to actually turn it off, I thought to myself, "What if it gets better?" -- wrong. It didn't. 

Credit where credit is do; I do applaud director Rodrigo Cortes for staying true to the format and never showing action, or flashbacks outside of the coffin. That's about it though. I understand that a person waking up in a coffin, with no idea where they are and if they'll be rescued, will not be thinking clearly. I understand that. What I don't understand is how Reynold's character can make so many dumb decisions and still get a far along as he did. That was the longest single bar of power in the history of Blackberry. There's some stuff about an ex-wife and family, but really who cares. They didn't seem that excited to pick up the phone for him, so why should we care about his family? 

Actually, it makes more sense that this was in fact a 95 minute commercial for RIM. RIM has been in trouble lately, and this is a great way for them to jump back into the market. Blackberry: who needs fancy battery draining apps when you're stuck in a coffin, in the desert with one battery bar?

Afterthoughts: 

Honestly I've tried not to think much about Buried. I saw it. I'm not happy about it. I'm trying to move on with my life. 

The whole thing stinks of a master's project. The director is so caught up making a film that 12 people would think is a masterpiece that millions just ask, why?

*Netflix does not allow 0 stars